My Approach to Counseling Couples
In my work with couples, I have come to understand that we are all doing the best we know how in our relationships. It can become frustrating when our best efforts no longer seem to be enough to make it work. I approach each partner with non-judgmental care, recognizing the strength and desire for goodness that each person brings to the relationship.
I provide a safe and constructive space for couples to work through problems. For couples who are experiencing high levels of conflict, my first goal is to teach skills that will help to reduce the intensity of conflicts. This first step is often difficult, but is vital to creating a safe space.
Once you have gained the skill of non-violent communication, we will begin the work of understanding the unique relational patterns at play that have caused disruption in your relationship. As we explore these relational patterns, we will begin to look at the core struggles that are coming up for each partner. We will explore healthier ways for you to connect emotionally and build on the strengths that you each bring to your relationship.
The hope is that after ending our work together, the two of you can continue to use the skills you have learned to handle relational conflicts as they arise. It is also my hope that the therapy process will present you with opportunities to experiment with new and more sustainable ways to be together so that the two of you can be intentional about the kind of relationship you wish to create together.
Please note: If you are in a relationship that is physically violent, counseling may not be the best first step for you. If you are experiencing physical violence, or feel threatened, intimidated or controlled by your partner, I recommend that you get help immediately by calling the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visiting http://www.thehotline.org. If you are unsure about what to do, you may call me for a ten-minute no-charge consult and I will help you determine the appropriate steps to take.
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